When Sisterhood Isn’t So Simple

Navigating the space between connection and conflict

Relationships with other women haven’t always been easy for me. I keep my circle small—and there’s a reason for that.

I learned early (fifth grade, to be exact) that girls—women—are powerful. Powerful enough to lift you up... or tear you down.

We’ve all seen those shareable quotes:
“When women support women, incredible things happen.”
“A woman’s greatest strength is her sisterhood.”

Beautiful in theory. But in real life? I think we’ve all experienced the opposite, too, when another woman’s power is used to wound, exclude, or shame.

I’ve been on both ends of that spectrum. But it’s the hurt that sticks.

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When Support Isn’t an Option

Here’s what I’ve been wrestling with lately: What if you can’t support someone? What if you’re not in the headspace? Or your relationship with them is complicated? Or you simply don’t feel aligned?

Does that make you a bad person? A bad feminist? A bad friend?

No.
But it does mean you have a choice to make. And I’m proposing a new one: the sidestep.

Not every situation calls for loud support or open conflict. Sometimes, the healthiest response is to quietly step aside.
Not to gossip.
Not to undermine.
Not to “watch it burn.”
Just… opt out.

Let it pass. Let them go. Let yourself grow.

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How to Sidestep (and Keep Your Peace)

If this idea resonates with you, here are a few ways I’ve learned to practice the sidestep:

Pause before reacting.
When your gut reaction is to clap back, vent, or defend—pause. Give yourself permission not to respond right away. Space brings clarity.

Exit the chat.
Literally or figuratively. Mute the thread. Don’t engage in conversations that drag others down. Energy is precious. Spend it wisely.

Assume good intent.
You never know the full story. Maybe they misunderstood you. Maybe they’re hurting. Maybe they’re simply not your person—and that’s okay.

Wish them well, quietly.
You don’t have to make a show of it. Just choose not to carry resentment. Peace doesn’t need an audience.

Refocus on you.
The sidestep isn’t avoidance, it’s redirection. Turn inward. Check in with yourself. Pour into relationships that feel mutual, safe, and true.

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Let’s Talk About It

Have you ever chosen to sidestep?
What did that look like for you, and how did it feel?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, stories, or even pushback around this idea. Hit reply or leave a comment. I’m listening. 💬