My Face Has Notes
On resting bitch face, emotional nuance, and writing with your whole body
I have a loud face. Whatever.
Since high school, people have told me I have RBF, “resting bitch face”. Or, as my grandmother likes to say, I “wear my heart on my sleeve.” I prefer her version.
As an adult, I’ve learned not to care too much. But back in my teens and twenties, it really bothered me. I spent years trying to “fix” it by keeping my expression neutral in public, trying not to look too serious or cold. It was exhausting.
Lately, I’ve let it go. And wouldn’t you know it, twice in the last month, someone called me intimidating. Me? Intimidating? I laughed at first, but then I gave it some real thought.
And honestly, it made sense. If I see someone with a blank expression or a scowl, I tend to avoid them, too. So I’ve started trying something new. I open my eyes just a little wider. It softens my face enough to make me feel approachable, but I don’t have to force a smile. No one likes a fake smile, right?
I’ll report back if it makes any difference. But this got me thinking about writing, of course.
🖋️ How Emotional “Tells” Make Better Writing
Paying attention to facial expressions made me realize how much we rely on them in storytelling. You’ve probably heard it before: show, don’t tell. But doing that well takes practice. It means writing the emotion through body language and expression instead of just naming it.
In this way, I think my “loud face” gives me an edge. When I’m working on a scene, I act it out. I say the words out loud and mimic the expressions or gestures my characters might use. Letting my body react helps me figure out how they might react too. It makes the writing feel more honest.
Not everyone is as expressive as David Rose from Schitt’s Creek—and that’s okay. We all have emotional tells. A nervous laugh. Crossed arms. A hesitation before speaking. Writing those little reactions can bring your characters to life more than any internal monologue.
🦸♀️ Find Your Superpower
So here’s my challenge: take something you’ve always been self-conscious about and ask yourself if it might actually be a strength.
Whether you’re a writer, a reader, or just someone navigating your day, there’s power in flipping the script. Sometimes the thing you try to hide is exactly what makes your voice, and your story, shine.
📣 Call to Action:
What’s your hidden superpower? The trait you used to shrink from, but now see as part of your strength? I’d love to hear about it. Hit reply and share it with me.
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